at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
