So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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