I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
