I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
