so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
