Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
