Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
True strength comes from lack of pants
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
