YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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