i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
