perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
