my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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