But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
