Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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