Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
