Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
