The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
