Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
