I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
