i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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