What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
