i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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