You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
