so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Holy shit dude........stairs
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
