she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
