U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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