My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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