...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
