Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
