I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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