i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
