You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
