I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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