I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
