I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
