Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
