White coat. Heels.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
