so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
