Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
