I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
