I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
