i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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