Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize