First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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