Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
