Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
