those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
