I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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