I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
