The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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