We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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